So, what, I just sit like this because my high schools didn't spend those 4 years preparing for college rather than anticipating it like I skipped high school?

What if they want me just to be controlled by black people who do what they say.

I don't know..  I don't know what to do.  I wonder if they, like expressed, were pretending that an older lady "had something."  Maybe, she likes other people better, others of my age and generation.

They can't read my mind, so I put it here so it happens.

They keep bothering me and don't get they're bothering me and ask what I'm doing?

People are playing around with me.  I'm being put off like I'm bad and like I asked for something.

How dare anyone question my race, ambushing me to see what you can get out.

How foolish are people to tell me they are serious about Hitler.  I am the racially superior or "white" one, but I'm not racist.

They won't stop!

They keep talking at me like they have a hold on me.

They keep acting like I did something so I don't deserve to be white.

Too much of Orlando based their life on hurting me because I get attention.

So, the people monitoring me in private are always cracking that I'm worthless.

It seems they're just doing the worst things possible within certain guidelines like active, present, physical torture.

"Oh, no! Christina is mixed race. Tear white-loving Christina from white people."

I'm being threatened for some things I post here.  They are attacking me with nonsensical things.

...but nothing is important supposedly.

Others/People Involved Monitoring Me in Private: "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

So, there's a lot of babble going batshit crazy from others getting under my skin like they're all cute.

These people think they have a hold over me, the people involved monitoring me in private.

People act like they believe I am fascinated with them being mean to me.

This has been a shitty time, whatever it was.  Something has to be said.

"Don't pee on me!"

They try to confuse me and talk at me.

It seems like people don't give a shit about me.  They want to have a hold over my life and take their time.

Me Now

I'm reading a magazine for intelligence and to post it on my magazine blog, but I came across people warning like I'm bad, like the famous people, celebrities, like all this doesn't matter much anyway when it probably does.  Some people might even be interested in my posting this but discredit I had to process the information yet don't mean to seem like I'm lingering on it, though maybe I should according to the people who do it.

I'm feeling restless just waiting to go.

I want to get out and eat with my dad.

I'm sick, need more medicine at the store, and tired on what medicine I've had.

I have my painting to work on and violin practice available.  Even the idea of painting taxes me.

Now, people I like are hating me but liking an older lady I like, when they are set to have a chance, suspicious.